I’ve been so down on myself lately and it really is time to quit that shit. One of my little voices (yes, I have several!) insists Hellbound is beyond me. It’s too complicated for me to do it justice. Give up now and save myself the future embarrassment. My main little voice says OMG quit listening to this crap and get on with it already. Writers write. You haven’t been writing. Got your ego dinged up a bit and your feelings hurt? Poor baby. Go cry somewhere else. It’s time to fish or cut bait. The exact phrase was actually much cruder. My main little voice can be kind of a dick. But it’s right. I either do this or I don’t. I’ve spent the better part of my life ignoring my urge to write to do more “important” things – give undivided attention to the kids. Finish college. Cook. Clean. Move to a zillion different places. Find a dead end job in a small crappy town. Do laundry. Clean something. Volunteer for various organizations and their endless tasks. Anything but write, because that’s not really important. This is what I told myself over and over again. What I still tell myself. So yesterday I was putting everything for the week in my planner. I decided to fully recommit. No more reading the judges comments and sulking over how someone(s) didn’t like everything about the story. No more telling myself it’s too complicated for me to do the story justice. Write it and fix what needs to be fixed. Period. End of discussion. I added blocks to my planners, I cleverly called them “writers blocks”. I am aiming for four 15 minute writing sessions a day, minimum. My goal is 500 words per 15 minutes. Double that on the weekends.   2000 words a day is manageable. I did miss my blocked in workout today. So much bummer! I got home about 2.5 hours later than I expected. Once I ate dinner, I had enough time to type up this post and get ready for bed.

I’m all in again. I’d like to say I’m going to stay that way but I know I’ll have another confidence crisis sooner rather than later. I may have to recommit again. And that’s OK. I did not hit 2000 words today but I did get 1,920. I’m thrilled with that progress.

Now it really is time for bed. Good night and may actual writers block never darken your doorstep! (The doorstep to your psyche, that is)